Idea Ripper // ArchiveCards: 1555 [Live] | Updated: 2026-10-14
Card #c1016IR // #c1016Synthesis

"The members of the committee adopted the rule that only one person could get angry at a time. This made it legitimate for others not to respond stormily to an angry outburst… 'That's OK. It's his turn.'"

— In our words · Source: Getting to Yes (Roger Fisher, William Ury & Bruce Patton)

[Use when]

A negotiation keeps derailing because anger is contagious and every outburst demands a reply.

[Why it matters]

A 1950s steel-industry committee turned "don't react" into a turn-taking rule. Others did not have to answer an outburst, and anyone who broke the rule showed they had lost self-control and lost some face.

More from Getting to Yes

#c1013"The Soviet Union finally agreed to three inspections. The United States insisted on no less than ten. And there the talks broke down —…Two sides are dug in on competing figures and nobody has defined what the figures mean. #c1014"Sadat flew to the capital of his enemies, a disputed capital which not even the United States, Israel's best friend, had recognized.…The negotiation is stuck because the other side's image of you makes agreement unthinkable. #c1015"Terms negotiated between a major city and its Hispanic community on municipal jobs were unacceptable to the mayor — until the agreement…The other side agrees with the deal but cannot be seen agreeing with you.