Idea Ripper // ArchiveCards: 1555 [Live] | Updated: 2026-10-14
Card #c1018IR // #c1018Synthesis

"She asks one why he wants the window open: 'To get some fresh air.' She asks the other why he wants it closed: 'To avoid the draft.' After thinking a minute, she opens wide a window in the next room, bringing in fresh air without a draft."

— In our words · Source: Getting to Yes (Roger Fisher, William Ury & Bruce Patton)

[Use when]

Two positions look irreconcilable and everyone is haggling over how far to open the same window.

[Why it matters]

Asking each side "why" turned open-versus-closed into air-versus-draft, and the answer was a third option nobody was arguing about. Borrowed by the authors from Mary Parker Follett.

More from Getting to Yes

#c1013"The Soviet Union finally agreed to three inspections. The United States insisted on no less than ten. And there the talks broke down —…Two sides are dug in on competing figures and nobody has defined what the figures mean. #c1014"Sadat flew to the capital of his enemies, a disputed capital which not even the United States, Israel's best friend, had recognized.…The negotiation is stuck because the other side's image of you makes agreement unthinkable. #c1015"Terms negotiated between a major city and its Hispanic community on municipal jobs were unacceptable to the mayor — until the agreement…The other side agrees with the deal but cannot be seen agreeing with you.