""generally they are not to be had when…" — Baltasar Gracián (#c1087)

Idea Ripper // ArchiveCards: 1555 [Live] | Updated: 2026-10-14

Card #c1087IR // #c1087Synthesis

"generally they are not to be had when sought for, but fall into one's hands when one is not looking for them."

— In our words · Source: The Art of Worldly Wisdom (Baltasar Gracián)

[Use when]

You badly want the deal and the other side can tell.

[Why it matters]

Gracián opens the maxim on getting things "by affecting to depreciate them." He says wanted things flee whoever chases them and follow whoever walks away.

Filed under situations:When the other side has more leverage When you need a yes and they’re not there yet

More from The Art of Worldly Wisdom

#c1063"They will allow a man to help them but not to surpass them, and will have any advice tendered them appear like a recollection of something…You have to correct someone above you who is proud of their judgment. #c1064"All men are idolaters, some of fame, others of self-interest, most of pleasure. Skill consists in knowing these idols in order to bring…Your good arguments keep failing on someone and you have not asked what they actually want. #c1065"To dissent from others' views is regarded as an insult, because it is their condemnation. Disgust is doubled on account of the thing…You think a popular plan is wrong and are tempted to say so in the all-hands.

Same situation, different book

#c1356Show them the engine, skip the pitchYou have a metric that proves your value better than any presentation.From Cancel Me If You Can #c1322Fill the reservoir of trust before you need itYou'll eventually need a deal with a rival and have no reason yet to talk to them.From Courage Can Save Us #c1279The Smarties test for adultsYou're sure the other side must see what you see.From Trade Outside the Box #c1277Listen and then thinkYou're preparing what to say in a meeting where you haven't yet heard the other side.From The Oxford Handbook of Modern Diplomacy