Idea Ripper // ArchiveCards: 1555 [Live] | Updated: 2026-10-14
Card #c1277IR // #c1277Synthesis

"What is his advice? Above all, ‘listen and then think’ before speaking." "On one level, this may appear elementary, but the dynamics of contemporary society militate against listening, reflection, and learning, not least as social media and electronic communication (through blogging and otherwise) have unleashed a torrent of self-expression not always matched by eagerness to learn."

— In our words · Source: The Oxford Handbook of Modern Diplomacy (Andrew F. Cooper, Jorge Heine & Ramesh Thakur)

[Use when]

You're preparing what to say in a meeting where you haven't yet heard the other side.

[Why it matters]

The advice comes from Jean-David Levitte, foreign policy adviser to two French presidents, as reported by David Malone. It sounds basic, but the incentives run against it: politicians score points for speaking to their own side first.

Filed under situations:When the other side has more leverageWhen you need a yes and they’re not there yet

More from The Oxford Handbook of Modern Diplomacy

#c1255"…‘negotiation is getting something by giving something, and it is the search for solutions when there are conflicts of interest between…You're pushing for the best possible terms and haven't asked whether the other side will still want to comply… #c1256"Public bluff and bluster intended to induce caution often induced risk-taking." "Khrushchev had no way of knowing whether this statement…You're sending a warning through a public channel and assuming the target will read it the way you meant it. #c1257"He was careful not to describe this as an ultimatum, but as a simple fact." "In framing the problem thus, Robert Kennedy was, in effect,…You need to convey a deadline without triggering the defiance an ultimatum invites.

Same situation, different book

#c1356Show them the engine, skip the pitchYou have a metric that proves your value better than any presentation.From Cancel Me If You Can #c1322Fill the reservoir of trust before you need itYou'll eventually need a deal with a rival and have no reason yet to talk to them.From Courage Can Save Us #c1279The Smarties test for adultsYou're sure the other side must see what you see.From Trade Outside the Box #c1237Treat the surprising answer as a giftYou're talking to someone on the fence and they say something that makes you want to argue.From This Is the Plan