Idea Ripper // ArchiveCards: 1555 [Live] | Updated: 2026-10-14
Card #c1237IR // #c1237Synthesis

"When someone on the fence says something that surprises you, don’t sputter. Don’t judge. Instead, remind yourself that you’ve just received a gift: a chance to talk to someone who, just maybe, could vote your way because you took the time to visit."

— In our words · Source: This Is the Plan (Ben Wikler)

[Use when]

You're talking to someone on the fence and they say something that makes you want to argue.

[Why it matters]

Wikler starts every doorstep conversation by reminding himself he has no idea what is happening in the other person's life. The undecided person is the whole point of the visit. Reacting with judgment ends the one conversation that could have moved something.

Filed under situations:When you need a yes and they’re not there yetWhen the other side has more leverage

More from This Is the Plan

#c1233"Here’s the operating principle: All other things being equal, you’ll be most persuasive to the people with whom you have the closest…You want to change minds and are about to start with the widest, least personal channel available. #c1234"Keep a CONSTANT WATCH on the DOUBTFUL VOTERS, and from time to time have them TALKED TO by those IN WHOM THEY HAVE THE MOST CONFIDENCE."You need to win over a wavering group and are deciding who should deliver the message. #c1235"Whenever a new way to reach someone unsolicitedly and cheaply pops into existence—mail, texts, Facebook messages—it has a brief twinkling…Your team is excited about a new cheap outreach channel because early numbers look great.

Same situation, different book

#c1356Show them the engine, skip the pitchYou have a metric that proves your value better than any presentation.From Cancel Me If You Can #c1322Fill the reservoir of trust before you need itYou'll eventually need a deal with a rival and have no reason yet to talk to them.From Courage Can Save Us #c1279The Smarties test for adultsYou're sure the other side must see what you see.From Trade Outside the Box #c1277Listen and then thinkYou're preparing what to say in a meeting where you haven't yet heard the other side.From The Oxford Handbook of Modern Diplomacy