Idea Ripper // ArchiveCards: 1555 [Live] | Updated: 2026-10-14
Card #c1070IR // #c1070Synthesis

"His affair seems to be in train when it is really only leading the way for another's." "Likewise with persons who always say No at first, it is useful to ward off this blow"

— In our words · Source: The Art of Worldly Wisdom (Baltasar Gracián)

[Use when]

Your contact refuses any request that opens with what you need.

[Why it matters]

Opening on the other person's interest gets them moving before your request arrives. Gracián recommends it most for people whose reflex answer is no.

Filed under situations:When you need a yes and they’re not there yetWhen the other side has more leverage

More from The Art of Worldly Wisdom

#c1063"They will allow a man to help them but not to surpass them, and will have any advice tendered them appear like a recollection of something…You have to correct someone above you who is proud of their judgment. #c1064"All men are idolaters, some of fame, others of self-interest, most of pleasure. Skill consists in knowing these idols in order to bring…Your good arguments keep failing on someone and you have not asked what they actually want. #c1065"To dissent from others' views is regarded as an insult, because it is their condemnation. Disgust is doubled on account of the thing…You think a popular plan is wrong and are tempted to say so in the all-hands.

Same situation, different book

#c1356Show them the engine, skip the pitchYou have a metric that proves your value better than any presentation.From Cancel Me If You Can #c1322Fill the reservoir of trust before you need itYou'll eventually need a deal with a rival and have no reason yet to talk to them.From Courage Can Save Us #c1279The Smarties test for adultsYou're sure the other side must see what you see.From Trade Outside the Box #c1277Listen and then thinkYou're preparing what to say in a meeting where you haven't yet heard the other side.From The Oxford Handbook of Modern Diplomacy